How To Make A Horror Movie

Ingredients:

  • Cornfield
  • Old movies playing in background
  • Insect buzzing noises
  • Cat (optional)
  • Swearing grandma. If PG you can maybe make her either sweet or fussy or both, too.
  • Lightbulb hanging down that flicker on and off pretty much for no real reason I think.
  • A small child around 6 years old. Can be either boy or girl.
  • Either a dirty bathroom or a ridiculously, immaculately clean one.
  • Farm animals like pigs and chickens. This one is sort of a “cheat”, but it can work well with the cornfield idea.
  • Barking dog
  • Quirky people – you can use regular people, too, but the quirky ones can make it easier to scare people sometimes.
  • Gun, fire, sword, or cross. Can be one or all of these depending on type of horror movie. Also, explosives can be OK for some of the types of movie.

Musical requirements:

  • Some minor 3rds (also, you can use this same recording for any type of action/thriller movie you make but you just have to speed them up).
  • Random xylophone notes.
  • Trombone type melody.
  • If insects-take over the world type movie, you can use some pizzacato string stuff.
  • Warbly electronic-type sounds.
  • Echos of people laughing, talking etc, but no you can’t see them.
  • Nursery rhyme song. Can be with children singing or just instruments.
  • Music box, but don’t use the Music box and the nursery rhyme idea in the same movie unless you want to be the big risk-taker. I just want you to know to prepare for big criticism if you try it.

Dialogue requirements:

  • “Don’t go in the cornfield!” (Obviously).
  • “There’s nothing out there.” Ideally, you can have this said by the same person who said “Don’t go in the cornfield”.
  • Calling the child “boy” and “buddy” in as many scenes as possibles.
  • People walking about saying hi to the child and then told to “go on on” (ideally by same person who said the two cornfield lines.
  • “Were you i those cornfields today?” (Can be said by anybody, but ideally not by the person who said “Don’t go into the cornfield.”)
  • Skeptical dialogue ideas:
    • Sherrif: “I aint going to start no manhunt on something aint nobody” seen.
    • “Oh, let the child have fun with his/her imagination”.

Scene/Set Requirements

  • Cornfield
  • Dinner table setting (so people can eat weirdly and also stare at each other for a while during scees).
  • Dining room or bedroom (for having the old movies it he background).
  • Bar (if you make some sort of action movie, you can use the same bar for that one, too).
  • Church
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Future Posts I Might Not Make Sometime Later – Part 1

Sometimes I look about inside of WordPress and find many posts to make later on in the future that probably I might forget about doing ever at all really. What I figured out about is that maybe they don’t get made because they are hiding inside of the WordPress site here and not made into a list outside of it.

So, this post is made here mostly for me, but it’s OK if you want to look at it or even read it if you want to, too.

Alternative Joke Constructions

This one is one in draft mode, but there’s nothing in it that I wrote except “Alternative Joke Constructions” so I think it means I have to wait until I write the post for me to find out about what it’s about.

An Open Letter To Mark Spitz

This is one where I demand to know about from Mr. Spitz if some sort of trick-photography was used for making him win Olympic medals.

Bullet Points

This is one where all I put was “asdf” so I think maybe I’m going to summarize those letters somehow with bullet points, maybe?

Dan Kennedy Admits To Hiding The Gold

It’s a step by step proof about Dan Kennedy colluded  with scientest to hide gold and then go about destroying the economy. I think some people who got too confused with the first post about scientist hiding the gold will think it makes more sense after my Dan Kennedy post.

Danny Sullivan Hates My Friends

I found out something bad about a man named Danny Sullivan – and it’s that he wants me to start wars with my friends with having me banning my blog-comment friends SearsCard, Discount Ugg Boots and MP3 player.

I have other ones I don’t want to make any summary for right now, but this is what I’m thinking about all the time:

Enemy Infographic
Forgotten book could lead to global economic recovery
Free Royalty Free Music For Movies And Videos
Fun word games for you to play
How Email Marketing Works With A Bank Account You Have
How To Make Money With Memes
How To Measure Intent
How To Outwit The Competition With An Eleven Pronged Approach
How To Pray Enigmatically
How To Solve It
How to fix education
I have too many friends online
Jack’s Commencement Speech
Little Known Mathematician Discovers Brand New Geometric Shape
Mobile Monopoly review
My Friends
My Life Is Passing Before My Eyes
Mythical Blog Owners That Probably Don’t Exist
New Page About Ugg Boots
New Research Proves Cats Can SEE In The Dark
Now I can thank people who tell me about Braxea, the Best Spinner and the Auto Blog System X system
Palindrome Post
Reengineering Vocabulary
Reharmonizing Schoenberg
Resume Making Kit
The Myth Of Evolution Vs. Creationism
Things that I didn’t tell you
Unintended Consequences Of Reengineering The Alphabet
V is for Victory
W.C. Fields Lived In A Hole?
Why can’t people agree to disagree?
Why the whole world is going to become invisible except for maybe some holes probably
World To Become Twice As Invisible As Previously Thought

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Matt Cutts Tells Mumbai Indians To Post Funny Pictures Up On Blogs And Websites

Matt Cutts has told the people in Mumbai that they need to start posting up funny pictures on blogs and websites to start to begin solving their big new unemployment problem. It was something Mr. Cutts told people to do before, but now some people think maybe he was serious about the funny picture idea when he told us about that, “If you see a funny picture post it on your blog…you can get a lot of links very quickly”. It’s something the article about Google’s Penguin Creating Mass Unemployment In Mumbai India told us about, too, by reminding us about it when it said that Matt Cutts told everybody one day about that:

“If you see a funny picture post it on your blog…you can get a lot of links very quickly”

Funny Picture - Please Link To My Funny Picture Here

Maybe we should and can agree that it bears repeating as many times as we can about the idea, that “If you see a funny picture post it on your blog…you can get a lot of links very quickly”. Note from me (Jack) about the idea from Mr. Cutts – if you are worried about copyright infringement, probably just post the funny picture anyhow and get the links, because they come so much faster than some DMCA notice you might sometimes get, so if you have to take down the funny picture it’s OK because now you already got the links anyhow.

Google Webmaster Guidelines About Funny Pictures

Now what I can do for us is to find out from Mr. Cutts what the funny picture should be and whether if it can be too funny for it to count for good quality content in the Google search box results. Also, I don’t know which ones Mr. Cutts will think are funny and whether or not the algorithm will say some of the links from other people aren’t funny enough to be real links to the funny picture that I or maybe it could be you that we put on our website or our blog, too.

Is More Than One Funny Picture OK To Do?

Probably most of you already thought up about the idea of putting a bunch of funny pictures on the blog to see if you can get more links that way, because so far we don’t know which ones are the good quality funny pictures that makes the links that Google loves. I don’t know about it yet though, because maybe it will be getting penalized for some sort of funny-picture stuffing that makes everything backfire on us and then we are back to square one again. And also, we don’t know which funny picture is getting which links.

Funny Picture Link Acquisition Test Model Theory From Me

I was thinking first that maybe we could find out about which are the best funny pictures by doing some sort of testing about them. So maybe what we can do is divide the funny pictures into different pages with some sort of – and then do the process of elimination idea like Jerry West SEO does with his test domains for figuring out which are the funny pictures with the good high-humor links and which ones are not good for the Google search engine. I like the Jerry West type humor-link analysis planning because then I can make sure I don’t get one of the penalties we get for having too many of the same funny picture all across the same website domain.

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